Largest review dump in HISTORY.

Oh long lost and almost forgotten blog, how I have neglected you. Instead of updating you with my countless and often unfounded opinions I have: not gone to the gym once, ate an entire box of Ferrero Rochers, nuzzled the shit out of one Sarah Hamilton, and spent every spare second of my day watching a mix of Christmas movies, teen drama television shows and MTV reality shows (ily jersey shore). But now I must atone for my absence by writing a review of ALL the movies I have seen in theatres since my last review. This is a hardship I must overcome to prove my devotion to my little bloglet. Brimming with the sustenance garnered from about 6 Ferrero’s, I will crack my knuckles and give my little fingers a stretch before attacking the task at hand.

Paranormal Activity



Before I begin I should probably inform anyone reading this that Blair Witch Project didn’t really scare me at all. I’m beginning to think that these indie horror films have absolutely no effect on me. I do almost pee my pants from watching Are You Afraid of the Dark and virtually any other horror film but these low budget productions fail to even illicit a squeak. I think it’s because I spend the entire film thinking about the technical side of it all. I wonder how they filmed the really creepy scenes instead of focusing on how creepy they are. Or maybe it’s because my good pal Michele has shown me countless videos and photos of “real” ghosts that leave me petrified at bed time. I am literally clutching the blankets to my neck, heart a’ racing, listening absurdly close for the slightest ghoulish noise. *shudder* Even the Google image search for this post is making me feel a little anxious.
I did find the movie a little creepy later. When I was lying in bed alone at the end of the day I started thinking about how very scary it would be if the events of the film actually took place in my home. Then I got it a little. It would scare the bejesus out of me if Chris stayed up all night rocking back and forth and staring at me while I sleep. Or if in the middle of the night something pulled me out of bed by my foot and dragged me down the hall. That’s right, no spoiler alert, I’m a fucking wild card.
What I found truly terrifying about this film is the relationship between the two main characters Katie and Micah. Their relationship throughout the film was like watching a train wreck. I find myself thinking; maybe this demon dude who’s stalking Katie night and day isn’t so bad. At least he’s dedicated. Maybe he just sees what a childish, egocentric, selfish prick Micah is and is really doing Katie a favour trying to eliminate him from her life. There would have to be bonuses to having a paranormal boyfriend. Seriously, Fuck Edward Cullen, I am going to date Zoonoo. Yeah, he’s from the 9th dimension of Hell, no big deal. He lives in my attic in some sort of nest and collects childhood pictures of me. Sometimes he gives me foot rubs and we listen to a little Buble (his choice, not mine). He also makes a badass quiche.

New Moon



A lot of people have asked when I am going to review this movie, especially since my scathing review of Twilight was a total riot. Am I right?! I am hesitant to even discuss the film because much to my disappointment it was not as awful as the first film. Let’s not get all ahead of ourselves and think that I’m saying it was good. My response to the film is simply “eh”. The “special effects” of this film were better than those of the first film. They definitely toned down the flamboyant glittering and took out the really terrible attempts at making vampires run inhumanly fast. Another reason this film wasn’t brain meltingly awful was that Robert Pattinson was barely in it. He always looks like he’s doing really hard math.
I can’t blame the movie for the horribly over dramatic break up between Bella and Edward because it just boils down to the fact the Stephanie Meyer is a hack writer. But I can point out that it seems a little odd that all the first nation characters in the film never wear shirts. I don’t really see why Jacob needs to take his shirt off to pat Bella’s bleeding head; the girl knows how to layer. She can use one of the FOUR fucking shirts she’s wearing. Anyways I figured out a thing or two about these “werewolves”. According to Jacob, they only become werewolves when vampires are about but I think that they simply become werewolves because they don’t like wearing shirts. They always get all hot and irritable before they hulk out and get all wolfy. Maybe they just need to try a more breathable cotton, a little Nike under armour maybe. It’s supposed to keep you warm, yet “wick” the sweat away from your body AND all the creepy Twilight fans can still see Taylor Lautner’s new steroid muscles rippling underneath.

Fantastic Mr. Fox



When I saw the preview for this film I kind of wrote it off as Wes Anderson attempting to keep up with Spike Jonze in the new venture of indie films for young hipsters. And while Anderson may be trying to stay on top of the mod filmmaking game, I believe he has created a very successful children’s film.
I am probably sort of the wrong person to review this film since I have never read the book. I’m going to argue that it allows me to be impartial. (pffft.) Anyways, like Jonze’s “Where the Wild Things Are”, Anderson makes an awesome film out of a relatively simple story. Unlike Jonze’s film, “Fantastic Mr. Fox” is ridiculously hilarious. The humour doesn’t seem that different from his other films such as “Royal Tenenbaums” and “The Life Aquatic” etc, but I feel like I laughed way more in this film than any of the others. The best most hilarious character of the film has to be Fox’s son Ash who is curmudgeonly and short. Jason Schwartzman’s dull unimpressed voice was perfect for the character and he was both hilarious and adorable.
The film played like a Wes Anderson film, with the same sort of color palette, set design and artistic feel. The soundtrack was predictably amazing and there were scenes that were muted and totally beautiful.
This movie didn’t make me want to die a little bit like “Wild Things” did. I think children will actually enjoy it. I also noticed that like “Tenenbaums” and “Life Aquatic” Anderson once again tackled the estranged relationships within the family unit, particularly between father and son. I think it is very possible he is working through some of his own daddy issues.

Avatar



1,167 words, that’s NOTHING! I’m just getting warmed up!
I heard about this project of James Cameron’s several years ago. A friend told me that he was working on this revolutionary film that was going to forever change the future of television. And then she told me it was like 4 years away from being released. Back then 2009 seemed so far away. But the day finally came and I couldn’t not attend opening weekend.
I gave up on IMAX pretty quick considering I do not feel the need to sit that close to a screen (trust me, my eyes were hurting in the regular theatre). If it was Omnimax it would have been an entirely different story but I saved the 3 bucks and saw it in one of the regular digital 3D theatres (how OLD FASHIONED!) Anyways, I got my favourite seats (back row, isle) and drooled over my companion’s whopper while the theatre filled up.
The 3D of this film is pretty insane at first. My eyes were seriously hurting and I felt a little nauseous ( I also skipped breakfast). But the whole “Oh wow it’s entirely 3D” thing starts to wear off after a while and you just accept it and even get totally used to it. This is why it is important for the plot to actually be stimulating.
The plot was definitely entertaining. It’s your basic stranger enters foreign world on behalf of his own selfish community, he adapts and learns, he becomes one of them, he fights the good fight and turns on his own kind. I loved “Dances With Wolves” and this film is essentially the same story, with more contemporary issues included, but it is MUCH prettier.
I’m not going to pretend that Cameron’s film changed my life in any way. That’s not what he does. “Terminator” was amazing but it wasn’t there to make you look deep inside yourself, it was created to thrill the fuck out of you. Cameron’s geeks created a visual presentation that has never been done before. The C.G and the live action in this film is practically seamless. I have never seen C.G create such life like representations. Needless to say my mind was blown.
It’s not even the special effects that made the film so stimulating. The world of Pandora that Cameron has created is so innovative and beautiful. The lights and the colors are totally magnificent. The tribe of the Na’vi people that the film centers on are totally awesome looking. I’m not gonna lie, I was totally crushing, which made me feel a little weird, since they are cat people.
I expect some people to not really enjoy the story Cameron tries to tell and some characters are kind of over the top (military personnel) but I don’t think that anyone can deny that the film is totally beautiful and impressive. Cameron pushed technologies to be developed so that he could create this film and I am so insanely glad he did.

This is why I can't stand Kristen Stewart:

“I’ll Eat You Up I Love You So”

One day, during one of the many hours I spend at work languidly leaning against the counter a co-worker cleverly dubbed me “Roger Shebert” and I felt that it fit perfectly. It is no surprise then that I purchased the very first ticket to the very first show of Where the Wild Things Are at the Langley Colossus. After driving for 45 minutes and hurriedly collecting my medium popcorn with just a “spritzing” of butter I manage to get my favourite seats (back row, right side) next to absolutely no one (except my delightful cohort Stacey). Just as the movie began a hoard of children piled in right next to me, whispering, bumping, and munching their popcorn. I was pleased to discover that the adorable little gaffer to my left was named Max, the very same name of the central character of WTWTA. Normally I’m not psyched about sitting next to children, they tend to get restless after about half an hour but I was glad to have a gauge of how much children would actually enjoy this movie.
We are first introduced to Max, a little boy rampaging through his house in a wolf suit terrorizing his dog. The scene freezes on Max mid-snarl, jaw agape; this is where the title credit lands, in a child-like scrawl, Where the Wild Things Are. We learn that Max possesses a wild imagination to combat his obvious loneliness. We discover the joy he possesses at school amongst his peers, a camaraderie that is blatantly missing from his life at home. Max longs for the attention of his indifferent older sister and his overworked single mother and in this dejected state he becomes a “wild thing” and further alienates those he wishes to connect with. It is this transformation that allows Max to enter the world where the wild things are.
Spike Jonze fleshed out the Wild Things quite nicely, giving them names and personalities. Catherine O’ Hara is amazing as the sceptical, sarcastic and opinionated Judith. Paul Dano is Alexander, the always unnoticed, under-dog of the group. The dopey, slow and loveable Ira is played by Forest Whittaker. Ever present and never speaking is The Bull played by Michael Barry Jr. The feathered, level headed Douglas is acted by Chris Cooper. My two personal favourites were K.W played by Lauren Ambrose and James Gandolfini’s Carol. K.W is mature, quiet and nurturing. Carol is rambunctious and boisterous but also stormy and petulant.
When Max meets the Wild Things, they are discontent and melancholy. They exist as a group but they are disconnected from one another. Max lies to them and insists that he is a King and he can keep the sadness away. Initially his promises bring jubilation and joviality and Max discovers a clan where he can comfortably let his inner Wild Thing out. But the movie continually evokes the old saying, “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt” and the flipside to that wild abandon is revealed as competition, aggression and malcontent arises from their game playing. Max incites his legion to build a fort and we discover that each of the Wild Things has a specific talent such as: construction, breaking and collecting sticks, putting holes in things, smashing rocks, cutting trees. Jonze seems to be saying that the sadness can never be kept away but although each of the Wild Things is broken in their own way, they equal a whole, almost like a family. This discovery allows Max to mend his own broken heart (literally) and appreciate his own fragmented family.
The setting of this film is exquisite in its simplicity. The gigantic forests, the craggy rocky cliffs, the vast desert sand dunes and the wild ocean are all awe inspiring in their beauty. The lighting of the dark nights, the bright sun, the torrential rains and the break of dawn is absolutely captivating. Perfectly matched is the soundtrack created by Karen O. of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs which inspires child-like wonder through its impulsive, liberated and simplistic style paired with children’s choirs. I’m so glad that Jonze decided to use actors in 6-foot suits created by the Jim Hensen Company because I believe it is important for actors to interact with one another. The costumes allowed them to have texture and movement that CG could not create effectively.
The kids sitting next to me did not get restless throughout the film; they seemed transfixed by the movie. The younger children in the theatre did start talking and movie around and I think they found some scenes frightening and the emotional scenes very sad. I would not suggest going into this film expecting a massive action packed plot or fantastical over expressive settings because Jonze preserved the simplicity of the book in both arenas. Let’s all remember that the book is about a kid who gets sent to bed without dinner, crosses the sea to where the wild things are, has a wild rumpus, sends the wild things to bed without supper and returns home to find his supper still warm; it doesn’t get more simplistic than that. The viewers and the critics seemed pretty evenly divided on this movie but I’m going to go ahead and jump on the YAY side of the reviews and say that it is one of the best adaptations of a children’s book I have seen in a very long time.

Alternative to what?!

I'm pretty sure Drew Barrymore was my first celebrity crush. It didn't start with E.T as one would expect since that movie came out about three years before I was born but it was her role as Lily in Bad Girls that really sparked my love. I have always been easily enchanted by powerful, domineering women so it was natural that I would love a film featuring a group of cowgirls kicking ass, robbing banks and making their way in the world (this was also during a period of serious horse adoration). Lily was the most vivacious as she was the most fiery and she drank like a sailor and even wore pants. And so clamored to watch Drew's follow up films such as Boys on the Side and Mad Love. She was the perfect combination of sweetness and rebellion. I loved her past her wild child phase and into her America's darling phase when she made films such as: The Wedding Singer, Never Been Kissed, Ever After and 50 First Dates. I never thought she was especially talented, just really likable.


So naturally when it came time for her directorial debut, I saw the first matinee of the day (12pm) and even passed on the cheap Abbotsford theater to see the film in style, I went big time with the Langley Colossus. My companion for the day was the ever so delightful and charming Stacey. We had both most recently seen Jennifer's Body and I couldn't think of a better film to follow that up with than Whip It. Seeing these films back to back makes me feel like I'm in a twenty four hour (what's the opposite of a sausage fest?), I'm going to be crass and go ahead and call it a pussy party. Drew was definitely more than adequate as a director. She must have been taking notes during all her years producing with her production company, Flower Films because nothing about this movie felt rookie. The plot flowed seamlessly, which is an accomplishment because there are several smaller stories within the larger story. Ellen Page shed her sarcastic quippy wit from Juno and Hard Candy and was just absolutely charming in a vulnerable sort of way.
Barrymore make a damn fine sports movie. I was wondering if the roller derby aspect of this film would be a snore, since who really knows much about the sport prior to going into the film. But you are totally drawn in along with Page's character and you may find yourself leaning increasingly forward in your seat during the intense derby scenes. The Hurl Scout team which Page's character Bliss joins is alluring with its killer ensemble of gals. Barrymore herself plays Smashley Simpson, who seems to have suffered a few too many head injuries. Eve plays Rosa Sparks, but she didn't talk much and was almost entirely un-noteworthy. Zoe Bell plays Bloody Holly, some may remember her hanging off the front of a swerving speeding car in Tarantino's Death Proof. She was such a good stunt woman (Kill Bill 1+2)that Tarantino decided to feature her, which makes me like him about 5% more bringing him to a total of 6%. My favorite Hurl Scout was Maggie Mayhem played by Kristen Wigg from SNL, who takes little Bliss under her wing and turns her into a bone crushing roller derby girl. Juliette Lewis is the antagonist of the film, being the leader of the rival team and anyone who has seen Lewis in anything else knows that she is the perfect choice for a film like this.
Like Jennifer's Body, Whip It plays with concepts of femininity and explores the relationships between women. I don't want to get all femmy but it feels really awesome to see two films in a row made by women featuring almost entirely women. I find it really inspiring and awesome that after years in the "biz" Barrymore is only getting better with age, rather than sitting on her cash laden ass. The girl is thirty, and she looks better than ever, she was nominated for an Emmy for her part in Grey Gardens (which won three other awards) and she has just successfully completed her largest most ambitious project yet. I suggest that everyone go see this, except for miserable cynics, you can stay at home and judge people on facebook.

She's actually evil, not just highschool evil.

The only prerequisite that I had for this trip to Toronto I have embarked on is that I got to go to the movies. Forget sightseeing and shopping, I just wanted to get my fix of popcorn and fuzzy peaches. We had a copy of the "Jennifer's Body" script in the cd store I work in, and I will shamefully confess that I read at least half of it when I should have been working. I really enjoyed Diablo Cody's previous accomplishment with "Juno" before it became so big that it almost joined the ranks of "Napoleon Dynamite". You know, when everyone loves it so hard, they squeeze all the good out of it by ceaslessly playing kimaya dawson songs and talking about how much they want a hamburger phone. So I cornered my beloved cousin Erika ( a budding filmmaker), gripping her with white knuckles and I told her firmly that we NEED to go to the movies. Okay, maybe not but I did lean in a little when I suggested that we go, to make her uncomfortable enough to conceed. And so we headed to the Fairview Mall Silvercity to enjoy some gorey goodness.

I am really far too wussy to ever enjoy horror movies but all the TIFF related articles had many conflicting and interesting things to say about this film so I figured I had better buck up and take it. Fortunately this film was not very scary at all, disgusting at times YES but not scary. You could kind of tell how things were going to play out so there wasn't a ton of suspense. But that wasn't where this movie shone. Like Cody's predecessing film, this movie was witty, fast, catchy and funny. Forget the gorey murders of multiple boys, the banter between BFFS Needy and Jennifer was hilarious.

I wasn't expecting much from Meghan Fox since the only frame of reference I have for her is her shining physique leaning over a very masculine/phallic motorcyle in the "Transformers" preview. But I can't imagine Cody's scripts are easy to wrap one's mouth around. Her dialoge is fast and sharp; if presented incorrectly the jokes could fall flat and it would be awkward and terrible. But Fox held her own, I'm not sure how much versitility she possesses as an actress so I'm going to assume this role was just built for someone like her.

Amanda Seyfried is one of my favorite young actresses so I was expecting her to be awesome and she was. I've seen her play characters similar to Jennifer in other productions so it was great to see her in another role. I loved how Cody illustrated the complexity of the relationships between girls in highschool. Every girl feels animosity towards her BFF in highschool because girls often compete with one another leaving one as a the dominant in the relationship and one as the submissive. Cody really captured the ambivolence Needy feels towards Jennifer and the competitive side of Jennifer.

I thought the film was vibrant, intense, witty and enjoyable. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone who is looking for a true horror movie because I get scared of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" and this film failed to illicit even a jump. I would recommend this film to any girls who want to watch a movie where girls are badass and boys are just man-meat. I would recommend this movie to anyone who loves Megan Fox because the girl looks hot even with black gooey shit all over her.

*I can't help but analyze this film so this next section will be spoilerific*

Maybe I'm reaching here but I saw a sort of doppleganger theme here between the two girls. The sort of represent two halves of the same person. To put it simply, Needy is the virgin and Jennifer is the whore. Needy definately adores Jennifer in a "more than friends" kind of way. And it is curious that Jennifer murders only boys. When Needy consumates her relationship with her boyfriend Chip, she has a violent reaction to the sex as she suffers from gruesome visions. Then the famous make out occurs between the Bffs which is followed by Jennifer murdering Needy's boyfriend. Once Needy's heterosexual partner is removed from the picture she finds the strength to go kick Jennifer's ass. She attacks Jennifer in her BEDROOM where the tussle on the bed (Jennifer is in her KNICKERS) and Needy ultimately penetrates Jennifer with a knife, killing her. But not before Jennifer bites her, instilling her with some of her power. Needy ultimately could be seen as consumating her relationship with Jennifer allowing the two to become one person, essentially Needy becomes a lot more powerful and badass. Gender theorists could have a hayday with this one.

That’s A Bingo!

When I saw the preview for Tarantino’s latest film “Inglourious Basterds”, I turned to the person sitting next to me and whispered sarcastically “How shocking that Tarantino has finally realized that he can exploit World War 2 for maximum violence and gore.” I’m realizing now that had I not known that Tarantino’s name was attached to the project I would not have been so sceptical. Regardless, I did ultimately follow up the comment with “I am definitely going to see this.”


I have put much blood, sweat and tears into explaining my ambivalence regarding Quentin Tarantino to people. Tarantino appears to be the sweetheart of the maladjusted youth of my generation. Trying to explain to people that I like Tarantino’s films but I don’t really like him is like pulling teeth. Through these discussions I have more or less sorted out the finer points of my issues with him. I enjoy the man’s films. They get the old ticker pumping. They are witty. They include many filmic references that movie nerds can hoard greedily and pretentiously. And they are generally pretty badass and ballsy. But Tarantino himself leaves me with sour feelings. I don’t mind that he references films of the past but I wonder if he relies on them too much. His portrayal of women is borderline empowering while at the same time seeming downright insulting. (While writing this I just got into an argument with Chris about my conflicting views on Tarantino). I could spend all day struggling with my inner turmoil over the films of Tarantino but I think I should just get on with it.

This movie was not the violent free for all that I was expecting. When I left for the movie I was worried about whether I could handle a whole two and half hours of bloody, bone crushing, eviscerating violence. I was awed to find the film opening to a pastoral French countryside. It was shockingly beautiful. The scene was followed by an intimate interrogation between the “jewhunter” and a French farmer. What I loved about this movie is how Tarantino drew out those scenes where everything is on the verge of being discovered. The eagle is continually scanning for the nearby rat in this film. For me it was like watching figure skating and cringing while I wait for what seems to be inevitable; the sparkly people to fall on their asses. I spent the majority of the two and a half hours nervously chewing on the end of my pen thinking “oh no...oh god... phew...oh jeez...here we go...”etc.


This movie was drenched in references to film. Not only did Tarantino make the interesting choice of once again referencing 1970’s films with the titling of the characters, the soundtrack and the side notes and occasional voice over by Samuel Jackson (not gonna lie, when I hear that voice all I think is “Afro”) Tarantino also explored the booming film production during WW2 within the Third Reich Film Industry. He illustrates how film has been used throughout history to influence and control people. I thought it was both awesome and fitting that film becomes quite literally a weapon in this movie.


The cast of this movie was killer (no pun...ugh..) There is no denying Brad Pitt is a funny guy. When I tried to figure out what it is about him that makes him so funny I decided that many of his characters have a sort of childish and immature humour, it’s as though he is never taking himself too seriously, and I enjoy that. Pitt managed to create a character unlike other any other character he has played. I think the beauty is in the details such as the stiffness of his character; his Eastwood squint and hard set jaw. All the entertainment magazines make a big deal of Diane Kruger, she was very charming in the film and spoke lots of German (her native tongue) but I much preferred the French actress Mélanie Laurent. She was excellent as the quiet yet fiery Shosanna. Her transformation into the femme fatal set to Bowie’s “Cat People (Putting Out the Fire)” while she puts on her makeup like war paint (one of the many references to the apache?) was a really awesome scene. When Eli Roth is introduced as the “Bear Jew” I had to squint for a second as I thought to myself “Zachary Quinto?!” but Quinto’s Sylar is a whimpering little puppy compared to Roth’s sad-watery-eyed scull bashing beast. The guy created “Hostel”, he must have had to tame himself for this part. Til Schweiger plays a Nazi who turns on his own and joins the Basterds, if anyone has seen “SLC Punk!” they remember what a psychotic spazz this guy can play. The best in this film and one of the best of any of the Tarantino films is Hans Landa, played by Christoph Waltz. This guy has a sunny disposition the whole time he is hunting and killing Jews. There is nothing scarier than the unscary bad guy; you never know what they are going to do, always charming people’s guards down. He’s not even that evil, he’s just an opportunist; I’m not sure which is worse.


So to conclude the longest ramble of my life, I want to discuss the issue I had with this movie. The Jews pretty much become the Nazi’s in this movie. They commit heinous crimes against the Nazi’s that are uncomfortably similar to the treatment of the Jews during WW2. At one point Aldo says to his Basterds that “Nazi’s have no humanity” and we all know the complications that arise when one group of people decides to strip another group of their humanity. I couldn’t have seen this movie at a better time because I just finished Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Everything is Illuminated” which also deals with the treatment of Jews during the holocaust; therefore, I have another perspective fresh in my mind. I guess what I wonder is if Tarantino was trying to make a statement with this. The roll reversal is quiet obviously pre-meditated but what is he driving at? Is he trying to illustrate how everyone was a barbarian during these times? Is he trying to show how easily the shoe could be on the other foot? I get the impression that Tarantino is a sort of hap hazard director, where some directors such as Hitchcock and Gilliam were meticulous and stubborn in their film making, it sort of seems like Tarantino doesn’t spend a lot of time asking himself “Why?” For example: Is there a reason he has Samuel Jackson voice over the occasional scene in the film? How long exactly did he spend thinking about whether or not to do this? I know the film has got me thinking, but is that what he wanted? The only statements I can find from him say that he wanted to make a spaghetti western set in WW2. Ok Quentin, mission accomplished.


It seems that whether he means to or not, Tarantino is always challenging our perceptions and hang ups about violence. Regardless of the political intentions of the director, this film was still tremendous. I was never bored at any point throughout the two and a half hours and I spent the majority of it filled with the tension and excitement of the film. Tarantino has outdone himself again and I think his fans will consume this movie with the same enthusiasm that they have all his other films. Anyone who is looking for a thrill with a side of ass kicking should definitely go see this movie.

Loneliness is Underrated

Every so often the stars align and two of my favorite actors get together and make a swell movie. In this case the moment I heard Zooey D. and JGL were doing a flick together, I started counting down the days.

When I announced to Facebook that I would be going to see this film, one of my favorite pop culture aficionado pals had this to say: ":( it's OKAY. sort of made me hate Zooey, though. let's talk it out after you see it!"
Well Jordan Pitcher, this blog is for you.

I spent most of the film thinking to myself "what didn't he like about this movie?" because I was basked in the warming glow of: beautiful cinematography, talented AND attractive actors, innovative plot and a good soundtrack.

I absolutely loved how this film would insert surrealist moments every so often, it gave it a lot of pizzaz. I also liked all the little things in the background that you would sort of recognized before they disappeared; I really really like very layered set designs. i.e the Magritte reference with the apple on the hat. It makes me go "ah hah!".

I don't see why one could hate Zooey for this film because in it she was playing a character called SUMMER. But I totally felt like a lot of people would be bummed that JGL and Zooey can't work things out, but we need to take a step back and remember that we are talking about Summer and Tom here(no matter how cute of babies those two fine actors could produce).

Anyways, I love that this isn't a love story, its about the dissolution of a relationship. Boy loves girl, girl loves boy and yet those crazy kids still can't work it out. Isn't that how things usually pan out anyways?

Tom's character was awesome. This film plays with gender roles in a way that leaves me positively tickled. After countless rom-coms where the woman tries to tie down that commitment phobic man *cough* He's Just Not That Into You *cough* it was nice to see the boy wear his heart on his sleeve and the girl avoid the commitment of a relationship. A lot of people would say that in this film, Summer is the "dude" but I would say that this film illustrates how behavior is just not gender specific. Thank Christ.

My only criticism's of this film is that it borders on painfully hip with all the pop culture jargon and teal. Warning: This film will make you want to throw your entire wardrobe in the trash and consider getting bangs again.

Four wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine.

Jason Segel is an actor who inspires awe and amusement in me. This giant oaf of a man never ceases to make me chuckle in his countless roles as the sensitive, sort stupid guy with a propensity for spazzing. You may remember those pleading puppy dog eyes from such hilarious productions as television’s Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared or the giggle-fests such as Knocked Up and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. So when Jason Segel’s twitter informs me that, “FYI. The Hangover is hilarious”, I figure that is one little piece of advice that I can take to the bank.




And so I bid farewell to the hideous pile of homework collecting on my desk and headed to the local cinema. I sat amongst the blonde, tanned, and texting nubiles and their scruffy “BFs” and prayed that Jason Segel would not forsake me. The movie opened at the end, creating “How did they end up here” predicament. This choice of opening indicates some sort of plot development is going to ensue so that already puts this film a cut above the usual comedic productions. I don’t want to blow anyone’s mind here but this film had all the basic necessities of plot such as: Exposition, Rising Action, Climax, Falling Action and a Denouement, while at the same time being ridiculously funny! The creators even went so far as to break out some fancy foreshadowing. It was nice to see a movie that was funny but was clearly not written entirely around the jokes. An added bonus is that there is hilarity outside of what you’ve seen in the preview! *cough* Year One *cough*
The Hangover follows a group of four guy friends throwing a bachelor party in Vegas. They hit a bump in the road when they end up loosing the husband to be. Sounds pretty uninspired and lame right? But hilarity ensues when they discover they have all been ruffied and can’t remember all the asinine and unimaginable things they got up to the night before. This concept alone would not have made it to the level of hilarious without this motley crew at the helm. I believe Todd Phillips deserves a pat on the back for making a successful comedy despite the fact that his name is NOT Judd Apatow. Pretty boy Bradley Cooper plays a pretty convincing jackass, lothario but it is Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis that make the movie riotously hilarious. Almost everyone already knows Ed Helms as Andy Bernard from The Office and he plays a sort of similar character who is more anal and badly “pussywhipped” by his domineering girlfriend. Zach Galifianakis literally came out of nowhere to play the part of Alan, the groom’s brother in law to be who is questionably mentally disabled and likens himself to a wolf. Galifianakis steals the show as he continually neglects social graces and makes a continual ass out of himself (literally).
I realize that my last couple of reviews have all been positive and that is not to say that I have not seen some totally crap movies this summer *cough*Wolverine: Origins*cough*. But I will say that with a full summer schedule I am being much more selective about what I will take the time to see and am generally more psyched to write about movies that I absolutely loved. I would advise that movie-goers looking for a good buddy comedy skip “I Love You Man” which barely elicited a giggle and go see this movie which almost made me pee a little.
Warning: This movie features the exploitation and questionable depiction of babies. Adorable babies named Carlos who wear aviators, cruise in stolen cop cars and have a general badass swagger.

I can't help it, I'm totally impressed.

Buffy serving Edward his ballz on a platter.

“Adventure is out there”

This afternoon I decided to say a big “Fuck You!” to the sun and head for the comfort of an air conditioned Cineplex. I decided I would differ from my usual matinee routine and see a 3D movie. I was going to see the much babbled about Up. My last 3D experience was a televised Rolling Stones concert back in the mid-nineties and it was nothing to write home about. I’ve avoided 3D ever since assuming that it was the same old blue and red cardboard shades that made things pop only slightly. But today was the day , I painfully paid the $14.99 for my ticket and shamefully bought my $7 popcorn and sat down feeling broke and ready to be unimpressed.
Things were off to a good start when I sat in the dark for about 5-10 minutes after the lights went down. As the lights went back up the screen came to life, well sort of. The 3D was not kicking in; everything was a blurry haze of reds and blues. Nothing was popping and everything was giving me a headache. I leaned into my friend sitting next to me and told her to dig out our tickets because we were going to need a refund and then WHAMMO we were in a fantastical world of 3D vision. At first I felt a little uneasy, like maybe I was too old and stuck in my ways to ever get used to having the animated stork flying literally right in front of my face. But I just sat back and let the awesome wash over me and it only got better from there.
I was not expecting Up to be all that entertaining. I did not see how you could get much stimulating amusement from the interactions between an old cranky man and a tenacious young boy. Throughout the entire hour and twenty nine minutes of this film I found myself laughing continually was completely entranced. The back story of Carl, the old man was presented in a short medley of key moments throughout his life with his wife Ellie and it was moving in a Forest Gump sort of way. The young boy Russell is adorable and amusing; the one child in the audience of adults seemed to really get a kick out of him. My favourite character in the film was Dug the dog. Fitted with a collar that allows him to speak human, the audience is privy to every single minded, spastic thought in Dug’s little brain. Being the owner of a 14 month old puppy I embarrassingly often comment on what I think my canine companion would say if he could and Dug’s dim, devoted, carefree attitude pretty much sums it up.
The animation of the film was marvellous. The details of the characters was amazing: Carls square framed face, hands, glasses and physique, Russell’s short and rotund little form and Dug’s fat dog ass, Kevin the rare birds coloring was amazing, I could swear the brilliant feathers were glimmering at me. Speaking of coloring, the subtle rainbow colors of the balloons, the house and the landscape were beautiful. The masterful creation of city and landscapes in this film are worth the watch alone, they are completely awe-inspiring.
My only criticism of the film would be that the villain is not as amusing as the protagonists of the film. I found my mind beginning to wander if I had to spend too much time with the baddie Charles Muntz or his pack of evil thug dogs. I will admit I would have been happy to watch Russell, Carl and Dug floating through those magnificent landscapes in their adorable airborne home.
I would recommend this film to anyone who is looking to get completely drunk off easy humour and pretty colors as well as anyone who is looking for their next hit of Pixar-goodness. Oddly enough I don’t think I would recommend this movie for children, at least not young ones, I think they might get bored like they did in Wall-E. Warning: This movie might break your heart a little bit.

There's no fate but what we make for ourselves

As a child most of my viewing pleasure was prescribed to me by my father. Through him I learned to love such classics as: Legend, Blade Runner, Total Recall and anything by Monty Python. One of the shining stars in my father’s repertoire of films was Terminator. Since the first Terminator came out before I was born I only watched it a select amount of times, it was Terminator 2: Judgement Day that captivated me. I watched it over and over hoping that in my adulthood I would grow to be as bad ass as Sarah Conner with a friend like Arnie/ The T-800. Arnold was actually my first experience with rejection. I wrote him a love letter addressed to a fan mail address I got out of the back of an old Teen Beat magazine. It was returned to sender. My heart throbbed with the agony of my rejection but I picked up the pieces of my wounded ego and popped in the tape for another round of T2.

So I was completely elated when I saw the preview for Terminator Salvation last summer. Every time I heard that classic soundtrack I would thump my fists with excitement. When I finally sat in the theatre awaiting the film I was brimming with anticipation and nervousness. I was worried it would fall into the realm of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines which totally failed to get my blood pumping. But I was not disappointed! This movie possessed all of the cool of Terminator 2 with none of the cheese!

At the beginning I was feeling like “Yeah whatever Christian Bale, I get it, you’re talented” as I was introduced to the adult John Connor, I felt like I needed some fresh meat. This movie was a sausage fest! First we meet sexy Aussie newcomer Sam Worthington as Marcus Wright, the first hybrid of man and machine. He is a taciturn man, quietly smouldering up the screen. Sexiness aside he is a major badass and a splendid protagonist, awesome action scenes ensue. Anton Yelchin is Kyle Reese from the original Terminator film. I loved seeing him play this gritty character after his role as Chekov in Star Trek, it was such a surprise. I wish he had more screen time because he is one of my favourite young actors and I’m pretty sure he’s on the fast track to fabulous. YES, Arnie does make an appearance in this film and NO it isn’t really him but who cares?! He was always just a chunk of man meat anyways.

Once again this film makes sawed off shotguns look both awesome and bad ass. Marcus does end up in some Terminatoresque duds and the whole end of the movie evokes the ending of T2. Danny Elfman honoured the original soundtrack particularly the scary music that accompanies oncoming Terminator related danger. There were several nods to the classic lines of the original films but they lacked the overdramatic flair and therefore did not make me cringe There are lots of amazing action scenes involving explosions and car/plan/massive machine chases. They did not abuse the cg in this film which was a relief because there were no scenes where I was like “This looks like total bullshit”. At one point Marcus hacks into the Skynet information center and when he shuts down from information overload I could swear I heard a Mac start up sound. I did have some issues with the dates in the film but they could easily be argued around because they were deceptively vague about the past (all I’m saying is Judgement Day was in 1997 and everything looks fine in 2003 in this film).

The whole movie I was pondering if I liked it better than T2 but I realized I don’t have to decide because that was then and this is now, literally time wise in the films, so I’m going to think of them as two marvellous separate entities. This movie is definitely sitting at number 2 for best summer movie at this point, spooning Star Trek. I’m sure there are a lot of people who will take issue with this movie, those who will pick apart the scientific and technological probabilities of the events in the movie but I would ask them to remember Arnold’s naked egg time travel ship just to keep things in perspective.

At one point in the film Marcus saves his sexy lady friend Blair from getting raped by a bunch of post-apocalyptic rednecks and I began to think to myself, Hey! Maybe these guys aren’t so bad! Maybe we should build a whole army of them and they could just escort girls to high school dances, barn dances or trips to any of the assorted “night clubs” in Chilliwack. Seriously Skynet, where do I sign up?

"Grab your destiny by the balls and squeeze hard!"

I have discovered a new television love.
I kept seeing Party Down posts in all the entertainment blogs that I read and I was like "WHAT!? Martin Starr, Ken Marino, Jane Lynch and Lizzy Caplan all on one show?!"
This show has 3 creators from Veronica Mars which I loved a lot and it is also created by Paul Rudd who is both hilarious and adorable. Lizzy Caplan is my latest girl crush so she grabbed my attention right away, who thought she had that much hotness under all that crummy make up and hair in Mean Girls?? I loved her in True Blood so I was excited that I was going to be seeing her on the regular again. She is so hot and sarcastic, she is like the Janeane Garofalo Version 2.0. Ryan Hansen and Ken Marino were both in Veronica Mars and they were fantastically funny assholes. I don't know who didn't love Martin Starr as Bill Haverchuck in Freaks and Geeks, he plays a scrawny mouth breathing nerd with magnified glazed over eyes so well, Who didn't go to school with at least one of these guys?! I'm pretty sure Jane Lynch is my spirit animal because I have been seeing her EVERYWHERE. She is so tall and awkward with her huge hips and manish voice, she always plays that "40 years young" character so well.
The show features the Party Down Catering Crew. In the first episode already odd ensemble staff is joined by Henry, an unsuccessful actor who has lost his joix de vie and resigned himself to a live of servitude and misery. The rest of the crew consists of people trying to make it into various positions in the "biz". Lynch is an unsuccessful actress with many life lessons to depart to her young hopeful co-workers, Hansen is a young dumb narcissist who is constantly at war with Roman (played by Starr) who is a "hard core" sci-fi writer who has written 2 books...or 4 halves of books. Caplan is a aspiring comedian who constantly fights with her husband and suffers the many let downs of life in LA. The cherry on the sundae is Marino as the manager, he is a recovered drug addict/alcoholic who is trying to keep his life in order so he can follow his dreams of one day opening a "Soup 'R Crackers" franchise restaurant.
This show is fucking genius. It takes all of the elements that make uncanny shows such as Arrested Development, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Office and adds some crude(er) humor, nudity, cussing, graphic sex and frequent substance abuse, to make one fucking potent comedy show.

Set Tasers to Steal My Heart

It was a long hard road full of many limb snapping, lung failing obstacles but I finally made it out to see STAR TREK. I feel this title deserves caps locks because it was just that fucking awesome. I am a big J.J Abrams lover, professionally and personally (what a steamy nerdy manboy). I was sucked into Alias, foolishly thinking I could "just try it once" and I am currently plundering the every so alluring landscapes of Lost so I had big expectations going into this movie. IT WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAD ANTICIPATED. I was expecting awesome visual effects and suspense which J.J is a master of. But I was pleasantly surprised by 1. HOW FUNNY IT WAS! and 2. the character development. I am no Star Trek aficionado or even a fan but I loved the development of the character of Spock and his human/Vulcan dual identity. Zachary Quinto is amazing at using his eyebrows, utterly mystifying. I don't really want to talk about the funny bits because then it will ruin the surprise and you wont be as tickled as I was. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone in particular, I would recommend it for everyone, its got a little something for everybody i.e sexy people, funny moments, sexy moments, action moments, scary moments, intense moments, ugly people, aliens, genocide, fighting, fencing, spaceships, muscles, motorcycles, Beastie Boys, giant red balls etc. I know I am enjoying a movie when I begin to lean forward in my seat and in this movie my face was smothered in the hair of the two women in front of me as I breathed Pepsi/Rootbeer all over them.
Essentially I looked like this guy
---->

Every Good Wolverine Deserves A Good Bone

I wish I could say that I don't regret procrastinating on my homework to go see "Wolverine: Origins" with Chris...
But no such luck. I really just wish Wolverine would plunge these adamantium claws deep into his still beating heart. Seriously, there is not a lot I can say about this movie accept "NO! DON'T GO SEE IT, DON'T RENT IT, DON'T WATCH IT FOR FREE ON THE INTERNET...JUST NO". I feel like this film is the perfect example of crappy directors relying to heavily on poor quality c.g rather than doing the extra leg work to make it look credible. I would have preferred bouncy plastic fake adamantium claws to the crappy unrealistic c.g'd claws in this movie. YUCK. But even credible C.G could not have saved this movie but would have only slightly diluted my ever increasing desire to drown myself in my MASSIVE pepsi/rootbeer combo. But I can find the shiny penny in any gigantic pile of dead puppies and I would have to say in this case, it is most def. Liev Schreiber, I would have much rather watched him in his time off screen which was spent most likely raping and pillaging rather than watching that puss Wolverine "find himself". I need to go freebase some "Lost" to get the nasty taste of that sucky prequel out of my brain.

The Springtime of My Amazing Luck

So I moved this last week and it was tiresome but I still managed to watch three, yes THREE movies this week as well as an impressive chunk of season 2 of Lost. I live in a house now and my TV has a room of its own; therefore, life is about to get a whole lot better. Now I can watch all the shows that I'm embarrassed to watch in front of Chris alone; I can indulge in my mindless MTV/CW/Old Fox television shows in glutenous blissful peace.
And so the first movie I watched is Happy-Go-Lucky2008. This movie should not be confused with Happy Go Lucky made in 1943 which is detailed on IMDB as "A gold-digger hopes to land a rich husband in Trinidad, but gets mixed up with a beach boy and voodoo." This movie is nothing like its similarly titled counterpart. I don't know how I would sum up Happy-Go-Lucky it would probably take only one or two sentences because not a lot actually happens in the movie. I would probably say "Poppy is an unusually happy schoolteacher who takes driving lessons and makes her instructor really mad. It was awesome." I found myself waiting for the plot to begin in this movie while remaining very entertained. The character of Poppy is intriguing; she is a painfully happy, continuous joke maker who dresses very eccentrically and has many awkward encounters. At first I couldn't stand her and then I adored her. Poppy's open attitude leads her into many strange activities such as: trampoline classes, flamenco dance class (with a very passionate instructor), a late night hang out with a mumbling/singing bum etc. I don't want to give anything away but I found it was the relationship with her driving instructor that ignites the film. Scott the instructor is Poppy's antithesis, he hates everything and Poppy's bright disposition infuriates him. But they end up realizing the most about themselves through their interaction with one another. His teeth are really awful.

This movie is really colorful and beautiful and it reminds me a lot of the old girly comedies of the 60's such as Funny Face. I would recommend this movie to anyone who can handle minute plots because it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like there is a hamster in your guts.

Youngbloodzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have a feeling this post is going to image heavy.

Today Stacey and I went to see 17 Again. I plan to cover my thoughts on the film shortly but first I would like to address the feeling of deja vu that was pressing upon my experience of the movie. I began to get the feeling like Zac Efron has already been done. I clambered through my memories of the many films I have watched and then it came to me.






I know right?!?! Minds are blowing all over computer screens everywhere! Who's who?!?
So I have a few words for Mr. Efron, they go a little something like this: *ahem*

Dear Zac,
I feel like I should warn you. It has come to my attention that you are the new Rob Lowe. I know your probably thinking "Right on, that dude has an awesome base tan" but don't be fooled Efron! Rob started off in family television much like you, he did " A New Kind of Family" and you did "Summerland". Like yourself Lowe moved on to make "hot teenager movies" such as "The Outsiders", "Class" and "Oxford Blues", you have done "HSM 1-3" and "Hairspray". Like yourself Lowe dated many of his young hot co-stars such as Winona Ryder and Jodie Foster. But the future is bleak Efron! After Lowe struggled with his drugs and alcohol problems he returned in the 90's clean and sober and DID NOTHING WORTH MENTIONING! His dashing good looks became a joke and he never garnered any serious roles but rather was relegated to the roles of schmarmy douchbags. So I am telling you Efron, you had better stop tanning, wearing mascara, sporting bronzer and straightening your hair or you will join the ranks of Rob Lowe, Mickey Rourke(most recent Oscar nomination excluded) and Christian Slater. You will eventually end up BACK in television as non-noteworthy character unless you grub up and lose that feminine physique!

Alright that's all I have to say to Zac. 17 Again was like Freaky Friday but better. I like Zac Efron better when he's not playing the hot, sexy, rhythmic, tanned, athletic king of the highschool. But at the same time I don't find him convincing as the "outsider". He IS supposed to be really hot in the film but common! This kid looks like he is manufactured Puuuuuurfection. He's so pretty he gives me the willys.
What I thought was impressive about the movie is that they manage to take potentially creepy situations (i.e young version of self hitting on grown version of wife OR young version of self being hit on by teenage daughter) and it manages to pull them off with only mild discomfort and even a little giggling. The movie made me laugh some and squirm some AND I was not bored at any point in the film and that's impressive because I was working up a serious sugar high off my pepsi rootbeer combo.
I just need to take a moment to say that I really love Leslie Mann. I loved her as the crotchety bitter wife in "Knocked Up" and the drunk bar slut in "40 Year Old Virgin" and she was very enjoyable in this film too.
I would not recommend this film to most of my friends but that is because they are picky assholes. I would recommend this movie to: Michele,Sarah, Jennifer, Courtney and anyone else who likes to watch "hot teen movies" such as "Mean Girls", "Stick It", "Bring it On", "HSM" etc. etc. etc.
I really will watch anything but I keep in mind the audience it's intended for and 14 yr old girl inside of you will go mental for this movie.

Oh Lilo Y u So Funie?

I can't help it, I just love a celebrity who can laugh at themselves. Suck on this Kanye.

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

hardy har har har

In the immortal words of Ms. Spears, they "rocked out with their cocks out"

get it?!? Because this movie has a flasher in it!

An overman as described by Zarathustra, the main character in Thus Spoke Zarathustra, is the one who is willing to risk all for the sake of enhancement of humanity. In contrary to the “last man” whose sole desire is his own comfort and is incapable of creating anything beyond oneself in any form. This should suggest that an overman is someone who can establish his own values as the world in which others live their lives, often unaware that they are not pregiven. This means an overman can affect and influence the lives of others. In other words, an overman has his own values, independent of others, which affects and dominates others’ lives that may not have predetermined values but only herd instinct. An overman is then someone who has a life which is not merely to live each day with no meanings when nothing in the past and future is more important than the present, or more precisely, the pleasure and happiness in the present, but with the purpose for humanity.
From: Nietzsche’s idea of an overman and life from his point of view

Nietzsche's concept of the "overman" is what came to mind constantly throughout Observe and Report. The theory outlined pretty much sums out the actions of Ronnie Barnhardt throughout the film; in fact it relates to the actions of any sort of vigilante super hero. The reason I enjoyed this film is that it is a hilarious and dark look at the reality of vigilante justice; its just a dude who is delusional about his role in the world. But you can't help but love Ronnie; his actions are guided by some wayward but honest morals and you can appreciate his efforts. He does really want to make the world, or at least his mall a better place.

Sarah and I originally intended to see Adventureland but there was no contest when we realized that this movie was playing. What we did not anticipate was the ridiculous crowds the Hannah Montana Movie was going to be bringing in on this particular Friday afternoon. The line ups for popcorn where mind meltingly long and filled with anxious young girls and pre-teens. We also lost our Mars bar entering the theater, you will be missed mars bar.

I anticipated that from the preview people would think that this film was going to be like the Apatow films or Paul Blart Mall Cop but it really really isn't. It is a comedy but it smacks its audience around a bit. It's jokes are often offensive and it has some surprising violence, needless to say, I loved it. I believe it had a little touch of the Cohen brothers going on. I guessed correctly that the two old ladies sitting on the end of our row would leave and they did, right around the time Ronnie and his sidekick Dennis' montage of coke, liquor, heroin, violence and general mayhem began. I guess they didn't appreciate Ronnie's little detour into Dennis' anarchistic, chaotic realm. They should have had more faith in our protagonist.

Much hilarity due to a small part played by Aziz Ansari from Human Giant. "Why would I blow up the Chick Fillet?! That place is fucking delicious!" And Ray Liotta was an awesome pick for the cliched cop role.

Seth Rogen was amazing in this role, his face is so mean looking and he plays a wayward meathead so well!
"The world has no use for another scared man. Right now, the world needs a fucking hero."

I would like to finish this with a comparison between vigilante justice speeches since that is what kept popping into my head during this film.

Dear Dreamworks you make for a good Saturday afternoon

Sarah and I filled ourselves with coffee (Sarah) and Bellinis (me) and went to see Monsters Vs. Aliens. What I like about Dreamworks movies is that they are short, thrilling and forgettable. It's nice to sit and enjoy a lack of thought or brain activity and just giggle as you stuff another milk dud, skittle, sour patch kid etc. into your mouth. It's the only time I can handle they old lady cackling behind me and the massive group of kids whispering and turning about in their seats...I don't feel like I'm going to miss anything.
I also very much enjoy playing "Guess that actor" as I try and envision the celebrity line up they have voicing the films. This time I guessed Rogen, Witherspoon, Arnet, Rudd and Colbert correctly. I was pretty impressed with myself.
Rogen as B.O.B definitely was the most hilarious and I'm glad that humor in kids movies is a little homosexual in nature these days, that should mean something should it not? I mean we all knew Gaston in Beauty and the Beast was quite a Mo and Jafar from Aladdin was a little too similar to Dr. Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror but they never made the gayness so explicit. What can I say? I'm pleased.

I've Seen Things You People Wouldn't Believe

My Father Turns 58 Tomorrow.


My Dad and I have been best friends since before I was born. I know this because he always references and reminds me of things that happened or shows he watched long before I was conceived, so we've been hanging out for a LONG time, since Howdy Doody was on television AT LEAST. See, he knew I was coming so he saved up all these random and sometimes interesting facts about generally everything but with a particular focus on entertainment, the arts and media. He went ahead and built up this wealth of information so that every time we hang out he can turn and smack me on the arm to get my attention so that he might feed me some more fun facts.
I'm pretty sure he started picking me up albums and taping stuff off tv for me before I could talk. There are pictures of me as a toddler eating a block of cheese (my mother's influence) and rocking out to his stereo with headphones on and snot all over my sleeves.
I was really supportive of my Dad's creative endeavors, he created some bed time stories for me surrounding a cat named Mushi and a dog named Bartholomew, we also co-wrote what could have been a breakaway pop hit involving peeing and brushing your teeth.
I have a lot to credit my Father with: I know most Bob Dylan and Neil Young songs, I've seen Blade Runner 3251561231 times, I also have seen most Arnold Schwarzenegger films before he started making bad comedies and family films, I have seen Tori Amos 2x in concert, I have seen most Monty Python and Peter Sellers films, I have read "The Odyssey" and know how to cook a badass steak on the bbq. The list goes on forever.
So I've written this post as an homage or a tribute to my paw, Rob (which incidentally was one of my first words) so that any passerby on the internerd can know how radtacularlyfabuawesome my father is and turn green with envy and curse God for their own drab boring uneventful non-creative parents.
I post this youtube video in dedication to the rapturous life changing event that is my Dad's birthday.


BFF'S

I'm Not In Love No No

Today Sarah and I went to see "I Love You Man" with Jason Segel and Paul Rudd. I thought this movie would make me expire from ecstasy because it features two of my favorite boyfriends being boyfriends to one another. But no, I was maybe mildly entertained by what I thought was going to be a three ring circus extraordinaire of hilarity. This film has all the outward appearances of a Judd Apatow movie in its cast and subject matter but DO NOT BE FOOLED. (Sigh, to think of what HE could have done with this film) There were some other Apatowesque movies made in the last year by different directors, such as "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and "Role Models";those films actually made me LOL in the theaters as I sat alone (that's another story). I'm going to go ahead and blame the writers of "I Love You Man" because "Role Models" was written by Paul Rudd and "Sarah Marshall" was written by Jason Segel so it is clear that these two actors perform best in their own jokes and not this stiffly written crap.
Aright, I feel although I'm being a little hard on Director/Writer John Hamburg. Sarah and I did let out some giggles throughout the movie but neither my cheeks nor my abs hurt and I feel unsatisfied if a comedy hurts none of my extremities.This film hurt my heart instead. I mean it featured Andy Samberg and he was NOT funny, he could have been played by anyone. Writing a script that makes Andy Samberg not funny is sacrilege in my books...Geez.
It was almost worth it to see Jason Segel in ugg boots and for Paul Rudd "slappin the bass" but there was just too much of Rudd's character trying in vain to come up with catch phrases,Common! you can only milk a joke so many times!
The only reason I would watch this movie again is for the gag reel in the special features because I can imagine that shit would be hilarious. I will definitely NOT be purchasing this film, not even for cheap previously viewed prices at Rogers Video.

I still have love for Paul and Jason though, you're my boos.

So Say We All

Dear BSG,
The end is drawing neigh and I'm really counting on you. Our relationship was rocky at first, I was embarrassed and didn't want to acknowledge our tryst to the public. I was ashamed to have gone against my beliefs and indulged in a sci-fi futuristic television show set in space. I felt like conventions and dorky costumes were one small step away. But your two hour first episode enthralled me, amorous feelings arose in me. I watched three seasons in two weeks. Those who mocked me were eventually welcomed into your fold of spacey, battling, roboty goodness. A small part of me died when Kali was blown out the airlock and I've looked past what a bitch the president can be. I've grown to love Adama's dentures and Lee's new terrible hair-do. And so I am begging you, let this two hour episode be unforgettable. Put it up there in the ranks with the finales of "Six Feet Under" and "Buffy", don't let it slide into the murk of unsatisfying and unfulfilling endings of "The Sopranos" or "Angel". Please leave me full of BSG plot, with no questions or qualms.
Please BSG do not forsake me now.
Love
me

The Spectral Figure of Miss Havisham

I haven't complete my thoughts on "Watchmen" I'm not sure if I ever will. I hastily read most of the book and have left the last two chapters untouched for almost a week now. I have so much to say but I feel as though the moment has passed.
And I've been working on my "Virgin Suicides" paper for my directed study. I know that just about every girl born in or around the 80's loves the film but I believe that so much is missed when people watch it. Reading the book brings so much more to light especially considering how faithful Coppola was to Eugenide's work. There is so much about the psychology of Suburbia, memory, desire, youth, voyeurism, myth, legend, race, religion. I want to write several papers about the film/book but alas I can write only one. Aside from all the layers is Sofia Coppola's brilliant, beautiful, dreamy film making, she definitely is one of my big heroes. I mean who wouldn't adore a woman who has: been in a Sonic Youth video, directed 3 kick ass feature length films, has her own clothing line in Japan, and best of all has her own reasonably priced Sofia Rose wine which can be purchased bottled or canned.





What can I say? Sofia is the reason I get up in the morning.

"We felt the imprisonment of being a girl, the way it made your mind active and dreamy, and how you ended up knowing which colors went together. We knew that the girls were our twins, that we all existed in space like animals with identical skins, and that they knew everything about us though we couldn't fathom them at all. We knew, finally, that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them." -Jeffrey Eugenides

All Along the Watchtower

We went to see "Watchmen" today, I can't really say much because I need to read the comic right now. What I can say is, I really appreciate the use of Jackie Earle Haley. This guy can do ugly, creepy and mean looking so well.









He makes my skin crawl, he was so upsetting in the movie "Little Children", which also stared another "Watchmen" actor, Patrick Wilson.
I don't really feel like I can effectively assess this movie without reading the comic. I intended to get it done over winter break but I instead chose to be a keener and read ahead for the next semester. Damn me.