There's no fate but what we make for ourselves

As a child most of my viewing pleasure was prescribed to me by my father. Through him I learned to love such classics as: Legend, Blade Runner, Total Recall and anything by Monty Python. One of the shining stars in my father’s repertoire of films was Terminator. Since the first Terminator came out before I was born I only watched it a select amount of times, it was Terminator 2: Judgement Day that captivated me. I watched it over and over hoping that in my adulthood I would grow to be as bad ass as Sarah Conner with a friend like Arnie/ The T-800. Arnold was actually my first experience with rejection. I wrote him a love letter addressed to a fan mail address I got out of the back of an old Teen Beat magazine. It was returned to sender. My heart throbbed with the agony of my rejection but I picked up the pieces of my wounded ego and popped in the tape for another round of T2.

So I was completely elated when I saw the preview for Terminator Salvation last summer. Every time I heard that classic soundtrack I would thump my fists with excitement. When I finally sat in the theatre awaiting the film I was brimming with anticipation and nervousness. I was worried it would fall into the realm of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines which totally failed to get my blood pumping. But I was not disappointed! This movie possessed all of the cool of Terminator 2 with none of the cheese!

At the beginning I was feeling like “Yeah whatever Christian Bale, I get it, you’re talented” as I was introduced to the adult John Connor, I felt like I needed some fresh meat. This movie was a sausage fest! First we meet sexy Aussie newcomer Sam Worthington as Marcus Wright, the first hybrid of man and machine. He is a taciturn man, quietly smouldering up the screen. Sexiness aside he is a major badass and a splendid protagonist, awesome action scenes ensue. Anton Yelchin is Kyle Reese from the original Terminator film. I loved seeing him play this gritty character after his role as Chekov in Star Trek, it was such a surprise. I wish he had more screen time because he is one of my favourite young actors and I’m pretty sure he’s on the fast track to fabulous. YES, Arnie does make an appearance in this film and NO it isn’t really him but who cares?! He was always just a chunk of man meat anyways.

Once again this film makes sawed off shotguns look both awesome and bad ass. Marcus does end up in some Terminatoresque duds and the whole end of the movie evokes the ending of T2. Danny Elfman honoured the original soundtrack particularly the scary music that accompanies oncoming Terminator related danger. There were several nods to the classic lines of the original films but they lacked the overdramatic flair and therefore did not make me cringe There are lots of amazing action scenes involving explosions and car/plan/massive machine chases. They did not abuse the cg in this film which was a relief because there were no scenes where I was like “This looks like total bullshit”. At one point Marcus hacks into the Skynet information center and when he shuts down from information overload I could swear I heard a Mac start up sound. I did have some issues with the dates in the film but they could easily be argued around because they were deceptively vague about the past (all I’m saying is Judgement Day was in 1997 and everything looks fine in 2003 in this film).

The whole movie I was pondering if I liked it better than T2 but I realized I don’t have to decide because that was then and this is now, literally time wise in the films, so I’m going to think of them as two marvellous separate entities. This movie is definitely sitting at number 2 for best summer movie at this point, spooning Star Trek. I’m sure there are a lot of people who will take issue with this movie, those who will pick apart the scientific and technological probabilities of the events in the movie but I would ask them to remember Arnold’s naked egg time travel ship just to keep things in perspective.

At one point in the film Marcus saves his sexy lady friend Blair from getting raped by a bunch of post-apocalyptic rednecks and I began to think to myself, Hey! Maybe these guys aren’t so bad! Maybe we should build a whole army of them and they could just escort girls to high school dances, barn dances or trips to any of the assorted “night clubs” in Chilliwack. Seriously Skynet, where do I sign up?

"Grab your destiny by the balls and squeeze hard!"

I have discovered a new television love.
I kept seeing Party Down posts in all the entertainment blogs that I read and I was like "WHAT!? Martin Starr, Ken Marino, Jane Lynch and Lizzy Caplan all on one show?!"
This show has 3 creators from Veronica Mars which I loved a lot and it is also created by Paul Rudd who is both hilarious and adorable. Lizzy Caplan is my latest girl crush so she grabbed my attention right away, who thought she had that much hotness under all that crummy make up and hair in Mean Girls?? I loved her in True Blood so I was excited that I was going to be seeing her on the regular again. She is so hot and sarcastic, she is like the Janeane Garofalo Version 2.0. Ryan Hansen and Ken Marino were both in Veronica Mars and they were fantastically funny assholes. I don't know who didn't love Martin Starr as Bill Haverchuck in Freaks and Geeks, he plays a scrawny mouth breathing nerd with magnified glazed over eyes so well, Who didn't go to school with at least one of these guys?! I'm pretty sure Jane Lynch is my spirit animal because I have been seeing her EVERYWHERE. She is so tall and awkward with her huge hips and manish voice, she always plays that "40 years young" character so well.
The show features the Party Down Catering Crew. In the first episode already odd ensemble staff is joined by Henry, an unsuccessful actor who has lost his joix de vie and resigned himself to a live of servitude and misery. The rest of the crew consists of people trying to make it into various positions in the "biz". Lynch is an unsuccessful actress with many life lessons to depart to her young hopeful co-workers, Hansen is a young dumb narcissist who is constantly at war with Roman (played by Starr) who is a "hard core" sci-fi writer who has written 2 books...or 4 halves of books. Caplan is a aspiring comedian who constantly fights with her husband and suffers the many let downs of life in LA. The cherry on the sundae is Marino as the manager, he is a recovered drug addict/alcoholic who is trying to keep his life in order so he can follow his dreams of one day opening a "Soup 'R Crackers" franchise restaurant.
This show is fucking genius. It takes all of the elements that make uncanny shows such as Arrested Development, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Office and adds some crude(er) humor, nudity, cussing, graphic sex and frequent substance abuse, to make one fucking potent comedy show.

Set Tasers to Steal My Heart

It was a long hard road full of many limb snapping, lung failing obstacles but I finally made it out to see STAR TREK. I feel this title deserves caps locks because it was just that fucking awesome. I am a big J.J Abrams lover, professionally and personally (what a steamy nerdy manboy). I was sucked into Alias, foolishly thinking I could "just try it once" and I am currently plundering the every so alluring landscapes of Lost so I had big expectations going into this movie. IT WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAD ANTICIPATED. I was expecting awesome visual effects and suspense which J.J is a master of. But I was pleasantly surprised by 1. HOW FUNNY IT WAS! and 2. the character development. I am no Star Trek aficionado or even a fan but I loved the development of the character of Spock and his human/Vulcan dual identity. Zachary Quinto is amazing at using his eyebrows, utterly mystifying. I don't really want to talk about the funny bits because then it will ruin the surprise and you wont be as tickled as I was. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone in particular, I would recommend it for everyone, its got a little something for everybody i.e sexy people, funny moments, sexy moments, action moments, scary moments, intense moments, ugly people, aliens, genocide, fighting, fencing, spaceships, muscles, motorcycles, Beastie Boys, giant red balls etc. I know I am enjoying a movie when I begin to lean forward in my seat and in this movie my face was smothered in the hair of the two women in front of me as I breathed Pepsi/Rootbeer all over them.
Essentially I looked like this guy
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Every Good Wolverine Deserves A Good Bone

I wish I could say that I don't regret procrastinating on my homework to go see "Wolverine: Origins" with Chris...
But no such luck. I really just wish Wolverine would plunge these adamantium claws deep into his still beating heart. Seriously, there is not a lot I can say about this movie accept "NO! DON'T GO SEE IT, DON'T RENT IT, DON'T WATCH IT FOR FREE ON THE INTERNET...JUST NO". I feel like this film is the perfect example of crappy directors relying to heavily on poor quality c.g rather than doing the extra leg work to make it look credible. I would have preferred bouncy plastic fake adamantium claws to the crappy unrealistic c.g'd claws in this movie. YUCK. But even credible C.G could not have saved this movie but would have only slightly diluted my ever increasing desire to drown myself in my MASSIVE pepsi/rootbeer combo. But I can find the shiny penny in any gigantic pile of dead puppies and I would have to say in this case, it is most def. Liev Schreiber, I would have much rather watched him in his time off screen which was spent most likely raping and pillaging rather than watching that puss Wolverine "find himself". I need to go freebase some "Lost" to get the nasty taste of that sucky prequel out of my brain.

The Springtime of My Amazing Luck

So I moved this last week and it was tiresome but I still managed to watch three, yes THREE movies this week as well as an impressive chunk of season 2 of Lost. I live in a house now and my TV has a room of its own; therefore, life is about to get a whole lot better. Now I can watch all the shows that I'm embarrassed to watch in front of Chris alone; I can indulge in my mindless MTV/CW/Old Fox television shows in glutenous blissful peace.
And so the first movie I watched is Happy-Go-Lucky2008. This movie should not be confused with Happy Go Lucky made in 1943 which is detailed on IMDB as "A gold-digger hopes to land a rich husband in Trinidad, but gets mixed up with a beach boy and voodoo." This movie is nothing like its similarly titled counterpart. I don't know how I would sum up Happy-Go-Lucky it would probably take only one or two sentences because not a lot actually happens in the movie. I would probably say "Poppy is an unusually happy schoolteacher who takes driving lessons and makes her instructor really mad. It was awesome." I found myself waiting for the plot to begin in this movie while remaining very entertained. The character of Poppy is intriguing; she is a painfully happy, continuous joke maker who dresses very eccentrically and has many awkward encounters. At first I couldn't stand her and then I adored her. Poppy's open attitude leads her into many strange activities such as: trampoline classes, flamenco dance class (with a very passionate instructor), a late night hang out with a mumbling/singing bum etc. I don't want to give anything away but I found it was the relationship with her driving instructor that ignites the film. Scott the instructor is Poppy's antithesis, he hates everything and Poppy's bright disposition infuriates him. But they end up realizing the most about themselves through their interaction with one another. His teeth are really awful.

This movie is really colorful and beautiful and it reminds me a lot of the old girly comedies of the 60's such as Funny Face. I would recommend this movie to anyone who can handle minute plots because it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like there is a hamster in your guts.