That’s A Bingo!

When I saw the preview for Tarantino’s latest film “Inglourious Basterds”, I turned to the person sitting next to me and whispered sarcastically “How shocking that Tarantino has finally realized that he can exploit World War 2 for maximum violence and gore.” I’m realizing now that had I not known that Tarantino’s name was attached to the project I would not have been so sceptical. Regardless, I did ultimately follow up the comment with “I am definitely going to see this.”


I have put much blood, sweat and tears into explaining my ambivalence regarding Quentin Tarantino to people. Tarantino appears to be the sweetheart of the maladjusted youth of my generation. Trying to explain to people that I like Tarantino’s films but I don’t really like him is like pulling teeth. Through these discussions I have more or less sorted out the finer points of my issues with him. I enjoy the man’s films. They get the old ticker pumping. They are witty. They include many filmic references that movie nerds can hoard greedily and pretentiously. And they are generally pretty badass and ballsy. But Tarantino himself leaves me with sour feelings. I don’t mind that he references films of the past but I wonder if he relies on them too much. His portrayal of women is borderline empowering while at the same time seeming downright insulting. (While writing this I just got into an argument with Chris about my conflicting views on Tarantino). I could spend all day struggling with my inner turmoil over the films of Tarantino but I think I should just get on with it.

This movie was not the violent free for all that I was expecting. When I left for the movie I was worried about whether I could handle a whole two and half hours of bloody, bone crushing, eviscerating violence. I was awed to find the film opening to a pastoral French countryside. It was shockingly beautiful. The scene was followed by an intimate interrogation between the “jewhunter” and a French farmer. What I loved about this movie is how Tarantino drew out those scenes where everything is on the verge of being discovered. The eagle is continually scanning for the nearby rat in this film. For me it was like watching figure skating and cringing while I wait for what seems to be inevitable; the sparkly people to fall on their asses. I spent the majority of the two and a half hours nervously chewing on the end of my pen thinking “oh no...oh god... phew...oh jeez...here we go...”etc.


This movie was drenched in references to film. Not only did Tarantino make the interesting choice of once again referencing 1970’s films with the titling of the characters, the soundtrack and the side notes and occasional voice over by Samuel Jackson (not gonna lie, when I hear that voice all I think is “Afro”) Tarantino also explored the booming film production during WW2 within the Third Reich Film Industry. He illustrates how film has been used throughout history to influence and control people. I thought it was both awesome and fitting that film becomes quite literally a weapon in this movie.


The cast of this movie was killer (no pun...ugh..) There is no denying Brad Pitt is a funny guy. When I tried to figure out what it is about him that makes him so funny I decided that many of his characters have a sort of childish and immature humour, it’s as though he is never taking himself too seriously, and I enjoy that. Pitt managed to create a character unlike other any other character he has played. I think the beauty is in the details such as the stiffness of his character; his Eastwood squint and hard set jaw. All the entertainment magazines make a big deal of Diane Kruger, she was very charming in the film and spoke lots of German (her native tongue) but I much preferred the French actress Mélanie Laurent. She was excellent as the quiet yet fiery Shosanna. Her transformation into the femme fatal set to Bowie’s “Cat People (Putting Out the Fire)” while she puts on her makeup like war paint (one of the many references to the apache?) was a really awesome scene. When Eli Roth is introduced as the “Bear Jew” I had to squint for a second as I thought to myself “Zachary Quinto?!” but Quinto’s Sylar is a whimpering little puppy compared to Roth’s sad-watery-eyed scull bashing beast. The guy created “Hostel”, he must have had to tame himself for this part. Til Schweiger plays a Nazi who turns on his own and joins the Basterds, if anyone has seen “SLC Punk!” they remember what a psychotic spazz this guy can play. The best in this film and one of the best of any of the Tarantino films is Hans Landa, played by Christoph Waltz. This guy has a sunny disposition the whole time he is hunting and killing Jews. There is nothing scarier than the unscary bad guy; you never know what they are going to do, always charming people’s guards down. He’s not even that evil, he’s just an opportunist; I’m not sure which is worse.


So to conclude the longest ramble of my life, I want to discuss the issue I had with this movie. The Jews pretty much become the Nazi’s in this movie. They commit heinous crimes against the Nazi’s that are uncomfortably similar to the treatment of the Jews during WW2. At one point Aldo says to his Basterds that “Nazi’s have no humanity” and we all know the complications that arise when one group of people decides to strip another group of their humanity. I couldn’t have seen this movie at a better time because I just finished Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Everything is Illuminated” which also deals with the treatment of Jews during the holocaust; therefore, I have another perspective fresh in my mind. I guess what I wonder is if Tarantino was trying to make a statement with this. The roll reversal is quiet obviously pre-meditated but what is he driving at? Is he trying to illustrate how everyone was a barbarian during these times? Is he trying to show how easily the shoe could be on the other foot? I get the impression that Tarantino is a sort of hap hazard director, where some directors such as Hitchcock and Gilliam were meticulous and stubborn in their film making, it sort of seems like Tarantino doesn’t spend a lot of time asking himself “Why?” For example: Is there a reason he has Samuel Jackson voice over the occasional scene in the film? How long exactly did he spend thinking about whether or not to do this? I know the film has got me thinking, but is that what he wanted? The only statements I can find from him say that he wanted to make a spaghetti western set in WW2. Ok Quentin, mission accomplished.


It seems that whether he means to or not, Tarantino is always challenging our perceptions and hang ups about violence. Regardless of the political intentions of the director, this film was still tremendous. I was never bored at any point throughout the two and a half hours and I spent the majority of it filled with the tension and excitement of the film. Tarantino has outdone himself again and I think his fans will consume this movie with the same enthusiasm that they have all his other films. Anyone who is looking for a thrill with a side of ass kicking should definitely go see this movie.

Loneliness is Underrated

Every so often the stars align and two of my favorite actors get together and make a swell movie. In this case the moment I heard Zooey D. and JGL were doing a flick together, I started counting down the days.

When I announced to Facebook that I would be going to see this film, one of my favorite pop culture aficionado pals had this to say: ":( it's OKAY. sort of made me hate Zooey, though. let's talk it out after you see it!"
Well Jordan Pitcher, this blog is for you.

I spent most of the film thinking to myself "what didn't he like about this movie?" because I was basked in the warming glow of: beautiful cinematography, talented AND attractive actors, innovative plot and a good soundtrack.

I absolutely loved how this film would insert surrealist moments every so often, it gave it a lot of pizzaz. I also liked all the little things in the background that you would sort of recognized before they disappeared; I really really like very layered set designs. i.e the Magritte reference with the apple on the hat. It makes me go "ah hah!".

I don't see why one could hate Zooey for this film because in it she was playing a character called SUMMER. But I totally felt like a lot of people would be bummed that JGL and Zooey can't work things out, but we need to take a step back and remember that we are talking about Summer and Tom here(no matter how cute of babies those two fine actors could produce).

Anyways, I love that this isn't a love story, its about the dissolution of a relationship. Boy loves girl, girl loves boy and yet those crazy kids still can't work it out. Isn't that how things usually pan out anyways?

Tom's character was awesome. This film plays with gender roles in a way that leaves me positively tickled. After countless rom-coms where the woman tries to tie down that commitment phobic man *cough* He's Just Not That Into You *cough* it was nice to see the boy wear his heart on his sleeve and the girl avoid the commitment of a relationship. A lot of people would say that in this film, Summer is the "dude" but I would say that this film illustrates how behavior is just not gender specific. Thank Christ.

My only criticism's of this film is that it borders on painfully hip with all the pop culture jargon and teal. Warning: This film will make you want to throw your entire wardrobe in the trash and consider getting bangs again.

Four wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine.

Jason Segel is an actor who inspires awe and amusement in me. This giant oaf of a man never ceases to make me chuckle in his countless roles as the sensitive, sort stupid guy with a propensity for spazzing. You may remember those pleading puppy dog eyes from such hilarious productions as television’s Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared or the giggle-fests such as Knocked Up and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. So when Jason Segel’s twitter informs me that, “FYI. The Hangover is hilarious”, I figure that is one little piece of advice that I can take to the bank.




And so I bid farewell to the hideous pile of homework collecting on my desk and headed to the local cinema. I sat amongst the blonde, tanned, and texting nubiles and their scruffy “BFs” and prayed that Jason Segel would not forsake me. The movie opened at the end, creating “How did they end up here” predicament. This choice of opening indicates some sort of plot development is going to ensue so that already puts this film a cut above the usual comedic productions. I don’t want to blow anyone’s mind here but this film had all the basic necessities of plot such as: Exposition, Rising Action, Climax, Falling Action and a Denouement, while at the same time being ridiculously funny! The creators even went so far as to break out some fancy foreshadowing. It was nice to see a movie that was funny but was clearly not written entirely around the jokes. An added bonus is that there is hilarity outside of what you’ve seen in the preview! *cough* Year One *cough*
The Hangover follows a group of four guy friends throwing a bachelor party in Vegas. They hit a bump in the road when they end up loosing the husband to be. Sounds pretty uninspired and lame right? But hilarity ensues when they discover they have all been ruffied and can’t remember all the asinine and unimaginable things they got up to the night before. This concept alone would not have made it to the level of hilarious without this motley crew at the helm. I believe Todd Phillips deserves a pat on the back for making a successful comedy despite the fact that his name is NOT Judd Apatow. Pretty boy Bradley Cooper plays a pretty convincing jackass, lothario but it is Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis that make the movie riotously hilarious. Almost everyone already knows Ed Helms as Andy Bernard from The Office and he plays a sort of similar character who is more anal and badly “pussywhipped” by his domineering girlfriend. Zach Galifianakis literally came out of nowhere to play the part of Alan, the groom’s brother in law to be who is questionably mentally disabled and likens himself to a wolf. Galifianakis steals the show as he continually neglects social graces and makes a continual ass out of himself (literally).
I realize that my last couple of reviews have all been positive and that is not to say that I have not seen some totally crap movies this summer *cough*Wolverine: Origins*cough*. But I will say that with a full summer schedule I am being much more selective about what I will take the time to see and am generally more psyched to write about movies that I absolutely loved. I would advise that movie-goers looking for a good buddy comedy skip “I Love You Man” which barely elicited a giggle and go see this movie which almost made me pee a little.
Warning: This movie features the exploitation and questionable depiction of babies. Adorable babies named Carlos who wear aviators, cruise in stolen cop cars and have a general badass swagger.

I can't help it, I'm totally impressed.

Buffy serving Edward his ballz on a platter.

“Adventure is out there”

This afternoon I decided to say a big “Fuck You!” to the sun and head for the comfort of an air conditioned Cineplex. I decided I would differ from my usual matinee routine and see a 3D movie. I was going to see the much babbled about Up. My last 3D experience was a televised Rolling Stones concert back in the mid-nineties and it was nothing to write home about. I’ve avoided 3D ever since assuming that it was the same old blue and red cardboard shades that made things pop only slightly. But today was the day , I painfully paid the $14.99 for my ticket and shamefully bought my $7 popcorn and sat down feeling broke and ready to be unimpressed.
Things were off to a good start when I sat in the dark for about 5-10 minutes after the lights went down. As the lights went back up the screen came to life, well sort of. The 3D was not kicking in; everything was a blurry haze of reds and blues. Nothing was popping and everything was giving me a headache. I leaned into my friend sitting next to me and told her to dig out our tickets because we were going to need a refund and then WHAMMO we were in a fantastical world of 3D vision. At first I felt a little uneasy, like maybe I was too old and stuck in my ways to ever get used to having the animated stork flying literally right in front of my face. But I just sat back and let the awesome wash over me and it only got better from there.
I was not expecting Up to be all that entertaining. I did not see how you could get much stimulating amusement from the interactions between an old cranky man and a tenacious young boy. Throughout the entire hour and twenty nine minutes of this film I found myself laughing continually was completely entranced. The back story of Carl, the old man was presented in a short medley of key moments throughout his life with his wife Ellie and it was moving in a Forest Gump sort of way. The young boy Russell is adorable and amusing; the one child in the audience of adults seemed to really get a kick out of him. My favourite character in the film was Dug the dog. Fitted with a collar that allows him to speak human, the audience is privy to every single minded, spastic thought in Dug’s little brain. Being the owner of a 14 month old puppy I embarrassingly often comment on what I think my canine companion would say if he could and Dug’s dim, devoted, carefree attitude pretty much sums it up.
The animation of the film was marvellous. The details of the characters was amazing: Carls square framed face, hands, glasses and physique, Russell’s short and rotund little form and Dug’s fat dog ass, Kevin the rare birds coloring was amazing, I could swear the brilliant feathers were glimmering at me. Speaking of coloring, the subtle rainbow colors of the balloons, the house and the landscape were beautiful. The masterful creation of city and landscapes in this film are worth the watch alone, they are completely awe-inspiring.
My only criticism of the film would be that the villain is not as amusing as the protagonists of the film. I found my mind beginning to wander if I had to spend too much time with the baddie Charles Muntz or his pack of evil thug dogs. I will admit I would have been happy to watch Russell, Carl and Dug floating through those magnificent landscapes in their adorable airborne home.
I would recommend this film to anyone who is looking to get completely drunk off easy humour and pretty colors as well as anyone who is looking for their next hit of Pixar-goodness. Oddly enough I don’t think I would recommend this movie for children, at least not young ones, I think they might get bored like they did in Wall-E. Warning: This movie might break your heart a little bit.

There's no fate but what we make for ourselves

As a child most of my viewing pleasure was prescribed to me by my father. Through him I learned to love such classics as: Legend, Blade Runner, Total Recall and anything by Monty Python. One of the shining stars in my father’s repertoire of films was Terminator. Since the first Terminator came out before I was born I only watched it a select amount of times, it was Terminator 2: Judgement Day that captivated me. I watched it over and over hoping that in my adulthood I would grow to be as bad ass as Sarah Conner with a friend like Arnie/ The T-800. Arnold was actually my first experience with rejection. I wrote him a love letter addressed to a fan mail address I got out of the back of an old Teen Beat magazine. It was returned to sender. My heart throbbed with the agony of my rejection but I picked up the pieces of my wounded ego and popped in the tape for another round of T2.

So I was completely elated when I saw the preview for Terminator Salvation last summer. Every time I heard that classic soundtrack I would thump my fists with excitement. When I finally sat in the theatre awaiting the film I was brimming with anticipation and nervousness. I was worried it would fall into the realm of Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines which totally failed to get my blood pumping. But I was not disappointed! This movie possessed all of the cool of Terminator 2 with none of the cheese!

At the beginning I was feeling like “Yeah whatever Christian Bale, I get it, you’re talented” as I was introduced to the adult John Connor, I felt like I needed some fresh meat. This movie was a sausage fest! First we meet sexy Aussie newcomer Sam Worthington as Marcus Wright, the first hybrid of man and machine. He is a taciturn man, quietly smouldering up the screen. Sexiness aside he is a major badass and a splendid protagonist, awesome action scenes ensue. Anton Yelchin is Kyle Reese from the original Terminator film. I loved seeing him play this gritty character after his role as Chekov in Star Trek, it was such a surprise. I wish he had more screen time because he is one of my favourite young actors and I’m pretty sure he’s on the fast track to fabulous. YES, Arnie does make an appearance in this film and NO it isn’t really him but who cares?! He was always just a chunk of man meat anyways.

Once again this film makes sawed off shotguns look both awesome and bad ass. Marcus does end up in some Terminatoresque duds and the whole end of the movie evokes the ending of T2. Danny Elfman honoured the original soundtrack particularly the scary music that accompanies oncoming Terminator related danger. There were several nods to the classic lines of the original films but they lacked the overdramatic flair and therefore did not make me cringe There are lots of amazing action scenes involving explosions and car/plan/massive machine chases. They did not abuse the cg in this film which was a relief because there were no scenes where I was like “This looks like total bullshit”. At one point Marcus hacks into the Skynet information center and when he shuts down from information overload I could swear I heard a Mac start up sound. I did have some issues with the dates in the film but they could easily be argued around because they were deceptively vague about the past (all I’m saying is Judgement Day was in 1997 and everything looks fine in 2003 in this film).

The whole movie I was pondering if I liked it better than T2 but I realized I don’t have to decide because that was then and this is now, literally time wise in the films, so I’m going to think of them as two marvellous separate entities. This movie is definitely sitting at number 2 for best summer movie at this point, spooning Star Trek. I’m sure there are a lot of people who will take issue with this movie, those who will pick apart the scientific and technological probabilities of the events in the movie but I would ask them to remember Arnold’s naked egg time travel ship just to keep things in perspective.

At one point in the film Marcus saves his sexy lady friend Blair from getting raped by a bunch of post-apocalyptic rednecks and I began to think to myself, Hey! Maybe these guys aren’t so bad! Maybe we should build a whole army of them and they could just escort girls to high school dances, barn dances or trips to any of the assorted “night clubs” in Chilliwack. Seriously Skynet, where do I sign up?

"Grab your destiny by the balls and squeeze hard!"

I have discovered a new television love.
I kept seeing Party Down posts in all the entertainment blogs that I read and I was like "WHAT!? Martin Starr, Ken Marino, Jane Lynch and Lizzy Caplan all on one show?!"
This show has 3 creators from Veronica Mars which I loved a lot and it is also created by Paul Rudd who is both hilarious and adorable. Lizzy Caplan is my latest girl crush so she grabbed my attention right away, who thought she had that much hotness under all that crummy make up and hair in Mean Girls?? I loved her in True Blood so I was excited that I was going to be seeing her on the regular again. She is so hot and sarcastic, she is like the Janeane Garofalo Version 2.0. Ryan Hansen and Ken Marino were both in Veronica Mars and they were fantastically funny assholes. I don't know who didn't love Martin Starr as Bill Haverchuck in Freaks and Geeks, he plays a scrawny mouth breathing nerd with magnified glazed over eyes so well, Who didn't go to school with at least one of these guys?! I'm pretty sure Jane Lynch is my spirit animal because I have been seeing her EVERYWHERE. She is so tall and awkward with her huge hips and manish voice, she always plays that "40 years young" character so well.
The show features the Party Down Catering Crew. In the first episode already odd ensemble staff is joined by Henry, an unsuccessful actor who has lost his joix de vie and resigned himself to a live of servitude and misery. The rest of the crew consists of people trying to make it into various positions in the "biz". Lynch is an unsuccessful actress with many life lessons to depart to her young hopeful co-workers, Hansen is a young dumb narcissist who is constantly at war with Roman (played by Starr) who is a "hard core" sci-fi writer who has written 2 books...or 4 halves of books. Caplan is a aspiring comedian who constantly fights with her husband and suffers the many let downs of life in LA. The cherry on the sundae is Marino as the manager, he is a recovered drug addict/alcoholic who is trying to keep his life in order so he can follow his dreams of one day opening a "Soup 'R Crackers" franchise restaurant.
This show is fucking genius. It takes all of the elements that make uncanny shows such as Arrested Development, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Office and adds some crude(er) humor, nudity, cussing, graphic sex and frequent substance abuse, to make one fucking potent comedy show.